First of all I want you to know that I think you are AMAZING and I have never felt the way I feel when I am talking to you. I love your voice and how comforting it is and when you can sense that something is wrong with me and we barely know each other. I love the way you make me feel about myself. I also love that you sing to me and seem genuinely happy to talk to me. Now with that said I have to tell you something. When I signed up on plenty of fish I was bored and thought it would be fun just to talk to some guys. I never anticipated that you would be out there. I have very strong feelings for you and I don't know how to process them. This is so hard to tell you because I care for you so much and I don't want to hurt you. The profile I made was not the real me. I found some random girls pictures and I used those. Everything else is real except the name. I am saying this again I did this out of boredom and had no idea that I would feel the way I do about you. Guys were messaging me asking questions so I had to come up wth a story. I am not in school and I am not a math teacher. I do not own a jeep. I do have a toyota 4runner. I have 2 sisters. My dad is not a dr he works in construction and he is my real dad. My mom does not plan weddings. After I told you these things I felt like I couldn't tell you the truth. I am sorry for that. You said that it didn't matter what I looked like you would stil like me. Well, I look nothing like that I girl ( I do think I am pretty). All the things I said about the way I feel is 100% true. I regret letting it go this far. I said that I made the profile because I was bored and that is partly true. I have been married for 7 years and I am not sure if we are supposed to be married anymore. Our marriage is falling apart ... we have been having problems for months now. We don't even sleep in the same bed anymore and we don't even say I love you. I guess I just did it to give me something I was missing. I have never in my life ever done anything like this before and I dont know what to think. I am so confused. My birthday is tomorrow and I will be 30. I have a 2 year old son and that is another reason I am conflicted if it wasn't for Brody I would have ended the marriage a long time ago. I am trying to be a good mother and do what is best for him but I also want to be happy and talking to you I have been the happiest I have been in years. My name is Lynsey and I am the owner of Luxe Images. I am also an insurance agent but I am not working doing that right now. I feel so bad that I lied to you about some things but our conversations were about me and my life for the most part. I know that this was not what you expected but that is me making bad decisions and hurting people. After you read this I have no idea what you are going to think of me but I still want you to want me. I do believe that things happen for a reason and for some reason I messaged YOU. The 1st night we talked I began to love you. I guess that is all I have to say and if you never speak to me again. I want you to thank you for showing me that I need to be happy! xoxox
Sent June 22nd 2011
I am sorry that I am writing you again after you said that you didn't want to talk to me anymore but, I just have a couple of things to say. If I had known that you were such an amazing guy I would have never ever lied to you. I am sorry that I embarassed you. I am sorry that I lied. It's just that you made me so happy and I don't know if it was because of what you thought I looked like but you said that didn't matter. I am not a liar. I promise. I just got caught up in the story I made up. I know its not your problem but I can't stop crying thinking that I will never get to speak to you again, All I want is to be happy and this past week you have made me happier than I can ever remember. I just don't know why it was you. The most amazing wonderful guy that I talked to and became so over the moon for. I will not ask you to do anything that you are not comfortable with but what if we are supposed to be together. I know I can love you with my whole heart. I swear that I would never do this to you. I have never done anything like this before and I am not sure why I did. I guess i was tired of not being loved. I don't want to be the girl that thinks about you for the rest of my life wondering what if. I have never cheated on a boyfriend or my husband. I honestly don't believe in it but something happened that night and I just can't get you out of my head! I don't understand why it had to be you. It would've been ok if you were a jerk like most guys are but no you had to be Spencer the sweetest, amazing, wonderful guy! It is my birthday and I am crying just wanting to talk to you. I just want to hear your voice. I know I sound pathetic but, I have never ever felt the way I do about you. I don't know I am just sorry and wish that I was honest and never did what I did because I want you in my life. I promise I will never lie to you again ever ever ever. If you were telling me the truth about how you felt about me than I am that girl that you have been talking to. Just tell me this ..... Am I that easy to forget? Are you not gonna miss talking to me? Can we meet thursday and just hang out and after you meet me you don't wnat to talk to me agan OK but I just feel like letting you out of my life will be the biggest mistake I will ever make. Please reply to this or call me! I also attached some pictures so you could see what I looked like! Sent June 22nd 2011 Ok, I need you to help me get some things straight in my head! I totally understand what I did was very messed up. I just want to know if I wasn't married and you knew what I looked would you have even talked to me? I just need to know that either way! I promise I will leave you alone! Even though I am totally upset and mad at myself I just need that questioned answered. So, please can you just do that one thing for me? Sent July 6th 2011 Ok, obviously you don't want to talk to me anymore and that is fine. I just wish I knew what I did to make you all of sudden not want to talk to me because our last conversation you said I will talk to you tomorrow. Well that has been 3 days now. This all I want to say .............. I just want you to know that I am sorry for pulling you into my craziness. I am dealing with some things in my lfie and using you to forget or pretend that those things don't exist was wrong. After getting to know you I began to really care for you and I still and probably always will. You made me happier than I have been in a long time and even though it was very brief you made me see things a little different. Like I said it wasn't fair to you that I drug you into my false reality. I think that you are truly wonderful and you have a great heart. I know that who ever is lucky enough to be your wife will be truly blessed. I wish we could've parted on better terms so I could have said all this to you. I know that you don't owe me anything and I am sorry for everything. I think you are amazing and I want nothing but great things for you! |
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