So, here I am just sitting here and thinking about Josh and how I am not going to call him or text him or message him! I am also sitting hoping that he calls me or texts me or messages me! I know I am just a silly girl!
"You told me I was pretty when I looked like a mess."
I just found this quote today and it reminded me a lot of how I feel neglected in my marriage! He doesn't tell me I am pretty anymore unless he is having or trying to have sex with me ... o wait that has stopped too. We barely talk and when we do we usually wind up being hateful to one another. I don't know what it is. He just seems like he would rather be anywhere else than with me and I feel that way a lot times too! I am just trying to figure out what happened and where did we lose the love! Will we be able to get it back? Do we even want to? Ok, I know that I am not the easiest person to be with these days but, I still need things and you know the things that I am wanting so badly right now he never ever gave me! I want someone to talk to me. We can't even talk without it turning it into something big! For instance we have been looking at houses to buy and we went to this house and we were able to peak insude and so Landon asks me what I thought about it. So, I tell him I don't like the kitchen cabinets or the railing and I am not sure because it is so far out! He gets pissed off at me and says that I need to shut the F up about the F'n cabinets! I had already told him I didn't like the cabinets when we looked at it online but, how was I supposed to know that when he asked what I thought I wasn't supposed to mention things I had already said! How dumb he gets pissed off at me because I said I didn't like the cabinets twice. That is just ridiculous. These are the type of things that happen on a daily basis and so, now I am so over it! I just want to be happy with someone that loves me the way I need to be loved!
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