I am sorry I was born!

How are you supposed to feel when you realize that you ruined someones life?

I was talking to my mom today just about life and she shared stories that I had already heard and things I already knew but today when she was talking about how her life changed when she was pregnant with me and how my dad wanted her to have an abortion.  I already knew this but, hearing the words today hurt.  I mean he didn't want me ... but here I am!  She even told me dad didn't even come pick us up at the hospital.  I mean I know I shouldn't take it personal but it hurt my heart today. I can't even imagine how mom must have felt.  I just think "WOW" I could've never been born if my dad had his way. My mom tells me that when I was little my dad loved on me but I don't remember him showing me love.  I wonder if he looks at me thinks that is what ruined my life.