What if I was born 10 years later?

I have a broken heart! I was so stupid to think things could change.  As I sit and cry on the night before my birthday I am so confused and don't know what to do but, do I even have a choice?

So,  today (my bday) I have been going over the things that  happened this past week.  I believe that things happen for a reason.  I was given a glimpse of how happy I could actually be.  That is what is making me sad!  I don't know how it happened. I never dreamed anything like this but when I looked at the moon something in my heart changed.  I began to question my life and really take a look at what is going on.  What am I doing?  Why do I feel the need to escape from my own reality?  I was shown sometimes things need to change and it isn't ok to be complacent.  I feel like I let something great out of my life. What am I supposed to learn from all this?  I just don't understand if it never happened I wouldn't be suffering right now.  I feel like my heart is broken and it sucks when you break your own heart.

I will never forget 4 am!